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1993-1994

1994-1995

1995-1996

08/19/95 - Aardvarks and Toothpicks - Here's looking at you, kid.

08/29/95 - Pop Rocks and Oral Sex - Please watch your step

09/06/95 - Laserdisks and Fallen Angels - Who finished off the milk?!

09/12/95 - Cheez-Its and Deep Sea Fishing - Parrish the Thought

09/26/95 - Napkin Roses and Freckles - Nice guys read Dr. Seuss

10/03/95 - Laser Sights and Goats - Sorry, Worcester Joke...

10/10/95 - Cockroaches and Sack Fights - I'm sorry, my dentures must have slipped

10/31/95 - Paper Clips and Vegetarians - Do Whatever the Little Voices Tell You To Do

11/07/95 - Peanut Butter and Mel Tormei - Hey, Who Used All the Hot Water?!

11/14/95 - Hot Fudge and Cold Guns - Excuse me, there's a fly in my soup.

11/21/95 - Dairy Cows and a 6-Foot Threaded Rod - Kiss Me I'm Irish

12/05/95 - VCRs and Cannolies - Just point, click, and ship.

12/12/95 - Thick Socks and Bubble Baths - Sorry, Virginia...

01/16/96 - Shoehorns and a Pleasant Wedge - 'Nuff snow fer ya?

01/23/96 - Harsh Words and Sun Spots - The Gompei Chronicles

02/13/96 - Silly String and Lois Lane - Sounds Like a Title to Me

04/23/96 - Pickles and Pizza - No, no, no. He's just... pining...

1996-1997

2000-2001

2001-2002

Silly String and Lois Lane - Sounds Like a Title to Me


by Laurel and Guinevere

Untitled

[A Terrible Love Song Involving DAKA]

I saw her 'cross the DAKA floor
With an empty tray - nothing more
She stood in line with shining hair
I watched her tray to see what she'd put there
A Quick-Chick sandwich just wasn't her kind
A more wholesome meal was on her mind
A "Healthy Choice" would fit the bill
The others would probably make her ill
She chose some spaghetti and sauce with care
The marinara on the pasta matched the red of her hair

My heart leaped with joy as she walked toward me
But she stopped at the salad bar and I could not see
The glow in her eyes, the shape of her feet
The tattoo on her arm made my heart skip a beat
She piled on 'sprouts and bacon bits too
When she reached for the croutons one fell on her shoe
She stepped into sight with a swish of her skirt
Just two more steps and she got her dessert
The way that she chose that Black Forest Cake
I knew what an incredible couple we'd make

She glanced around - I thought I caught her eye
She walked toward me and I thought I would die
"Is this seat taken?" she said with a smile
It took only a second, but it seemed like a while
That smile, however, turned into a smirk
As she took the chair to a remotely distant table nowhere near me and sat down with some jerk

Life sucks sometimes
Happy Valentine's Day


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